The house is quiet for a few moments before Judah wakes up and realizes he is STARVING and GOING TO DIE if he doesn't eat RIGHT THIS SECOND. (My son is a bit more dramatic than his sister.) I have spent the day around the house for the most part, save for a trip to Jonker's Garden with Eden to scope out veggies and see Mingo the monkey. Both children are bathed and in fresh clean jammies, the dishes are completely done, everyone is fed, and I even seem to have made a dent in the perpetual pile of papers and debris on the kitchen counter in addition to the time I spent playing with Eden and Judah. I feel successful at my job today, and yet have also found myself nostalgic for a former life... a life of hopping in the car with nothing but my SELF and my keys, lighting up a Camel Light, and turning up Outkast or J5 louder than my speakers were designed for. A life of leaving the house after 7:30pm because I had no one's bedtime to consider but my own. A life of having a second glass of wine because it's not affecting the quality of my infant's sole food source. Don't get me wrong. I'm not necessarily *longing* for those days... I still remember the stink of cigarettes, the sour stomach from a glass-too-many, and the longing for a husband and babies. I think it's just having the option that appeals to me. Then again, my family is pretty rad. Eden's newest word is "nice," and she likes to use it to encourage Derek and me when we color or paint with her. "Ooooh, nice!" That and poop. She likes to say poop. This is a more specific and universally-understood word than "eee," which was the favored term for excrement before poop came into the picture, but I have to admit, it will be a sad day when she says "I pooped" instead of putting a hand on her butt with a disgusted look on her face and saying "Eeee."
Happy mother's day, mommas! I wish you all an eee-free day (in diapers, that is) and hope for one myself. :)
5 comments:
"Ooh, Nice" post, sister. I, too, feel your longing for the options our former lives held. It's not that I WANTED to go to the Beer Tent tonight. But the OPTION to say yes or no would've been nice. Even though I'd probably say no.;)
Late night slurpee runs. That's what I miss.
I'm embarrassed to admit that grocery shopping by myself is a bit of a vacation.
Not a mama alive doesn't share your schitzophrenia when it comes to motherhood v. singlehood! It comes with the territory. Yet when one weighs everything, there's no contest. The downy head of a new baby, the sweetness of "toddler-speak"...c'mon, now! Motherhood is a shoo-in!
Ahhhh, blasting Outkast (you know, on the way to the grocery store to get milk for the 1 year old all by myself) still is fun sometimes! It's a little dated but it brings back memories of times long gone!
I love this post as it is all very true. I am so glad you post so honestly, I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks these things :) And now as I type, Kelsey is needing me....no more computer time!
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